I did the whole queuing thing for Episode VII: The Force Awakens. Fans (including myself) had been waiting 10 years for that sequel, and I don’t think I disappointment is quite the right word. Frankly, it was just a shitty movie. No main characters to root for, note much action, and all in all it just sucks.
On the same note, I’ll go off on a tangent to say that Rouge One (A “Star Wars Story” but not a Star Wars movie) was probably the best Star Wars ever made. With perhaps the exception of Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.
Moving on. I just saw Episode VIII: The Last Jedi. No, I didn’t bother for opening day—not after the shitty Force Awakens.
First Impression: Episode VIII was not thaaaat bad. I was fairly entertained the whole way through. I didn’t almost fall asleep like I did in part VII. But after 2 ½ hours, some things about the movie are just downright stupid.
Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi Review
THIS REVIEW WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS!It seems like they wrote the story, and suddenly thought “shit, we forgot to write Finn into it.” So they created some random scenes with him and some other new character with the hopes that if they added enough random shooting and escape scenes that the viewers may not notice his entire character had absolutely nothing to do with the story.
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| Finn & Friend on a random useless adventure. |
Aside from that, generally I like Disney movies. But seriously Disney. What is wrong with you?
It really seems like they are going out of their way to kill off all the old characters and ideals so that they can create a completely new Star Wars.
- Luke is not a hero, but a grumpy old man with a grudge. Oh ya, and he dies.
- Somewhere in the movie, all the old Jedi books are destroyed and Yoda’s ghost laughs about it.
- Rey magically knows how to professionally use the force and lightsabers without ever having any training whatsoever. (okay fine, so I didn’t really have that much against Rey. She’s kind cool)
- That other bad Sith (I refuse to type Snoke because it’s a stupid name. Yeah, I know I just typed it.) He’s pretty much the main bad guy, and they killed him off as well! AND in a dumb way.
Okay, I suddenly realized when I started typing that I was writing a bad review. I didn’t know I had such pent up anger against episode VIII. Hahah.
FINAL REVIEW 4/10
It was okay. It lacks all the qualities of a Star Wars movie, but hey, I was entertained. I like those weird beasts that race. But the tiny owl-penguins were a bit much. |
| Cute or stupid? You decide. |
Production Company: Lucasfilm LTD
Director: Rian Johnson
Cast: Mark Hamil, Carrie Fisher, Adam Driver, Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis
Music: Bear McCeary
PG13, 152 Minutes
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