Ouija (2016) – Origin of UTTER NONSENSE! - Flamingo Games and Reviews

Since the dawn of movie making, there have been good movies, and there have been bad movies. Yet, there remains another category even worse than the bad movies: the mediocre movies. I mean… if you’re going to make a bad movie, at least do it properly!

Before we continue, let’s take a moment to hear Kevin Spacey warn us about the dangers of mediocrity.

Moving on.

There’s only one thing that pisses me off more than accidentally watching a mediocre movie. And that’s purposely watching a mediocre movie because someone told me it was good!

“It looks like your typical cheesy modern horror movie, but it’s really not! It’s actually really good!”

Well, you know what? Ouija SUCKS! And if you think otherwise, you suck too and so does your opinion.

The following section is going to be FULL of spoilers.

I have no problem spoiling the movie for you. (can’t spoil what’s already bad.) That way you can save 1 hour and 39 minutes of your life. You’re welcome.

Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016) Movie Review

Ouija starts off as your typical 2000’s horror movie. There’s a mom and two daughters. Her husband had recently passed away. Obviously they have money problems. Mom pretends to be a medium, and fools her clients with the help of her daughters. She also pretends like she thinks she’s helping people.

"Yes, honey. It's GOOD that we pretend some old guy's dead wife is talking to him."

Blah blah blah.. nothing interesting happens.

Mom decides to buy a Ouija board. OBVIOUSLY, it starts moving by itself, but only behind her back. Who’s the only person that knows that it really moves by itself? See if you can guess. Obviously, the younger daughter.

Younger daughter starts playing Ouija every night, and you will never guess what happens. Seriously. Try and guess. SHE GETS POSSESSED!!! OMG OMG!! Whoever would have seen that coming? A little girl playing with a Ouija board in a horror movie GETS POSSESED?? I NEVER would have seen that coming!! Someone call the SUPERNATURAL POLICE, because this movie is OUT OF THIS WORLD!!

I'm TERRIFIED!!! I can't look!

About 15 minutes into the movie, I realized that it was never going to get good. Or even bad. The kind of bad that’s at least fun to watch. Still, I was hoping for at least a few good scenes. I mean… even Rings had about 1 ½ good scenes.

Little girl gets possessed. Obviously (again) the only special effect they can muster is the same elongated screaming mouth and crawling on walls that you can see in literally every other horror movie. Oh, and don’t even think that I didn’t notice they COMPLETELY RIPPED OFF one of the best horror scenes in the world. I won’t say which, because that would be an actual spoiler for an actual good movie. (the Movie is SHUTTER. Watch it. If you don't like subtitles, don't worry. There's a Hollywood remake as well.)

Here we have the elongated screaming mouth and crawling on walls both in one scene! Yesss!

Little girl kills older sister’s boyfriend. Little girl kills moms lover (who is also a priest). Little girl ties mom up.

And now we have our Final Girl (the older sister). At this point, its about time for us to find out why the haunting. Not that we care. Get this. The house is haunted by people THAT DIED THERE BEFORE. Again. My god… how did they come up with this. And of course, aside from the dead people, there HAS to be some malevolent beings that were never human. I say malevolent, because that seems to be a favourite horror movie term. You know.. normal people, we just say “evil.”

So our final girl decides that the only way to save her little possessed sister is to stitch up her mouth with a needle. Once the demon realizes he doesn’t have a mouth to speak with, he will have no choice but to leave her body. So, she stiches up little sister, and where does the demon go? Straight into our final girl.

Final girl, now possessed, kills mom with a knife. When she comes to her senses, mom is dead, little sister is dead (with her mouth stitched up). On the bright side, their spirits walk off with the spirit of their deceased father/husband, who is also trapped in that house.

I have a feeling like I’m making this movie sound much better than it was.

Big sister wakes up in the mental hospital, unable to cope with the gravity of her actions. While there, she chews on her fingers till they bleed so that she can paint alphabets in the shape of an Ouija board, and tries to summon her sister.

Sister comes running upside down on the ceiling with a demon face.

Like… why? She just went off with her father and mother. And she’s DEAD! How can she be possessed while DEAD? Does the spirit world have another spirit world?

Before I forget, into THE BUCKET it goes!

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FINAL REVIEW: ZERO!! 0/10

Yeah, that's how much the movie pissed me off after someone told me it was good. And there wasn't one thing I liked about it. Not one scene. And it wasn't even scary. Not even stupid scary.